pieces of me

this is just an humble entry talking about myself. my life.

Well.. basically i have a normal life. or that what they said. who can define normal btw? I have a pretty good life now. Good family. Caring bf. Lovable friends. I'm not a good person. But at least i tried to be one. The journey of getting me here is not beautiful. It is not.

Growing up, people are always mocking me on how ugly i am. They do. I have a very low self esteem growing up. When i walk, i cannot look up because i'm afraid of how people will look at me. I'm afraid of been calling ugly again. My relatives, they always call me fat whenever i'm going back to my late granny village. When i was a kid, no one wants to be friend with me just simply because i'm too ugly for them. They will say mean things to me. I was a child back then. I don't know how to handle such insult. Few years later i just got tired of being called ugly. I started to diet, wear better cloth, don't wear my hijab. yeah, i'm also a bulimic. I do not ashamed of calling me one. It's society who should be ashamed for putting me through all this. Well you know what? they succeeded. I start to gain my self esteem. Start dating. Start my new life.

I know i'm wrong. I realized it now. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. What makes them beautiful is their kind heart. Don't let anyone treat you the way you don't want to be treated. And don't treat anyone the way you don't want to be treated too. It's all about give and take. But try to give more. Trust me, you'll be happy on others happiness (if you have a kind heart).

So you know what? Don't blame me for being who i am today. You have no idea what life has put me through. I may not be perfect. But i'm trying to. Again, no one can define perfect after all. Some people thinks i live in comfort world growing up. They wrong. But now, after i've gained all that. I start to appreciate more things in my life. I'm happy. I'm blessed. One advice from me. Be kind. Cause you have no idea what your words mean to others. :)