I used to be called bitch for jumping from another guy to another. They don't know I did that just to protect my heart. I used to be loyal to a guy when I was 18. And when I'm loyal, it's mean that he can crush my heart so badly. When we broke up, even though I found his replacement, it took me 2 years to actually erased him completely from my heart. How's that happened? Well 2 years after we broke up, we met. We got kinda attached again and this time, he did something that took my dignity in the lowest bottom. It hurts so much that I literally cannot stop crying for the whole day. My tears just don't want to stop cause it's to painful to handle. I was devastated. But I'm grateful he hurt me this time cause when the tears dried, my feeling for him has totally gone. I don't know how it's happened, it just happened.
My point is, I'm scared to be loyal. I am loyal right now with my bf. and being loyal to him has made me vulnerable. I can get so hurt from just missing him. I get hurt for the smallest thing and I hate it. I hate the feeling when you love a person too much, you automatically gives that person a pass to hurt you.
Being a bitch sometimes is much more better than being a saint...
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